Star Wars Joke Thread

Discussion in 'General Chit Chat' started by chris solo, Mar 22, 2003.

  1. chris solo

    chris solo Agent

    Got a good Star Wars Joke? Got a bad Star Wars joke? Post it here! Keep it clean enough to be spoken on the radio and have a few laughs!!!!!
    :joker: :bash: :smack: :spin: :stupid: :nut: :drunk::roflmao: :rotfl:
     
  2. chris solo

    chris solo Agent

    Chewbacca was in the bathroom on the Millenium Falcon looking in the toilet. 3PO walks by and sees him on his knees and says "What are you doing?" and Chewbacca says "I'm trying to find the captain's log!"
    :roflmao:
     
  3. chris solo

    chris solo Agent

    A Bothan, an Ewok and a Gungan are standing on the top of a mountain when Yoda comes along and says "The cliff you jump off and say what you want to be and become this you will". They all look astonished and decide to give it a try....

    The Bothan walks to the edge, jumps and yells "Mynoc". POOF! He turns into a Mynoc and flies away.

    The Ewok takes a run, jumps and yells "Taun Taun". POOF!
    He turns into a Taun Taun, lands on the side of the cliff and walks away.

    The Gungan goes back, way back, takes a deep breath and starts to run. Faster and faster he goes. Faster and FASTER! His ears are flopping in the breeze, gets to the edge, trips and yells "crap!"

    :ufo:
     
  4. Buzz Bumble

    Buzz Bumble Furry Ewok

    Well, just remember, you guys DID ask for it ... ;)


    Why didn't Anakin and Padmé call their daughter Ella?
    Because they didn't want an Ella Vader.


    Where does Qui-Gon keep his marbles marbles?
    In a Jar Jar.


    How many humans can race Pods?
    Only Ani can.


    How did Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?
    He felt his presents.


    What's the name of R2-D2's very polite twin brother?
    Nice2-Meet2


    What ship does Vader take to important Imperial functions?
    His bow-TIE.


    Why does Han have a packet of gum in his pocket?
    Because it's Chewie.


    Who was the winner of the lightsaber battle with Darth Maul?
    Obi won.


    What short message did Obi-Wan send the Jedi Council after the lightsaber battle at the end of Episode I?
    Qui-Gon gone. Darth Maul fall.


    How many Jedi does it take to change a light bulb?
    One, unless he turns to the dark side.


    What's the one thing you never serve Leia Organa for dinner?
    Hanburgers.


    Did you hear about Darth Maul's nervous breakdown?
    The poor guy just fell apart.


    What Happens When Jar Jar gets dust in his eye?
    Jar Jar blinks.


    What did Gungan archeologists find buried in the Naboo desert?
    The Jar Jar Sphinx.


    What does Jar Jar call his favourite websites?
    Jar Jar's links.


    What happens when Jar Jar walks on quicksand?
    Jar Jar sinks.


    What does Jar Jar do before having a bath?
    Jar Jar stinks.


    What's the name of Jar Jar's wife?
    Bar Bar-a Binks.


    How do you know when Jar Jar is joking?
    Jar Jar winks.


    What's the name of Jar Jar's comedian uncle?
    Har Har Binks.


    What does Jar Jar do when walking through the Tatooine sand storm?
    Jar Jar squints.


    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To join the queue for Episode III tickets.


    Why does Han like Halloween?
    Lots of Chewie candy.


    How many Corellians does it take to change a glow-panel?
    None, because you can't see them cheating at Sabacc in the dark.


    What is the name of the Jedi Country Western singer who turned to the Dark side of the Force?
    Darth Brooks.


    What did a three-year old Padme Amidala say when she finds her lost pocket money?
    Ah, me-dollar!


    What is a Jedi's favourite alcoholic drink?
    Qui-Gon gin.


    What is Yoda's favourite summer treat?
    An Ice-cream Clone.


    What does Chewie spend a lot of time deleting from his computer?
    His web browser's Wookiee cookies.


    Which piece of kitchen equipment does Wicket like using most during his Internet Asian cooking classes?
    An e-Wok.




    Not really a joke, but in a Simpson-ised version of Episode II and III we might get to see Homer playing Count Doh-ku.




    How about a Chewbacca Haiku:

    Muurgh rooow mwa wyaarg
    haaag muawa waagaa raaaaah
    raaahurrr raaah raaah wuuurgh




    Two good websites for Star Wars cartoon strips are:
    OffThe Mark
    Sev Wars (there's also cartoon strips of many other sci-fi and fantasy shows / movies there too.)

    and FINALLY, here's a few one-off cartoon strips:

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
    [​IMG] [​IMG]




    :D :D :D :D :D
     
  5. chris solo

    chris solo Agent

    Chewbacca and Wicket were walking through the green forests of Endor. Chewy asked Wicket "Do you ever had problems with crap sticking to your fur?". Wicket replies "No. Why?". Then Chewy grabbed him, wiped his butt and said "Well I sure do!".
    :laugh:
     
  6. IG-PPO

    IG-PPO Sith Hamsters Handler

    The 12 Taun Tauns

    OK.. Hope you like this one..

    Malakili was delivering 12 Taun Tauns to Corruscant when his transport breaks down. While he trying to fix it, Jar Jar Binks came to offer his assistance.

    -"Well Mr. Binks I have to bring these twelve Taun Tauns to the Corruscant Zoo, but my transport breaks down. Here 100 Republic dataries, can you get them to the Zoo for me?"

    -"Of course. No Problemo. Messa go to the zoo, with the Taun Tauns."

    And Jar Jar started to walk to the zoo followed by the twelve Taun Tauns.

    When Malakili finally fixed his transport, he went to the zoo to see if the Taun Tauns arrived. When he was going to enter to the zoo, he saw Jar Jar coming out of the zoo followed by the 12 Taun Tauns.

    -"Mr. Binks where are you going with the Taun Tauns."

    -"Well since there was some dataries left from the zoo admission, Wessa all going to see a movie."
     
  7. Buzz Bumble

    Buzz Bumble Furry Ewok

    Star Wars based answers to the age-old question:
    Why did the chicken cross the road?


    Yoda:
    "Always in motion is the road ... difficult to see is the chicken."


    Darth Vader:
    "Come, chicken. Join me on the Other Side. You don't know the power of the Other Side."


    :D
     
  8. IG-PPO

    IG-PPO Sith Hamsters Handler

    Anakin went to the Gungan City to talk with Boss Nass. When he arrived at the entrace the sentry stop him and start to ask him some questions.

    - "What is youssa name?"

    - "Messa name is Anakin Skywalker."

    - "What is youssa profession?"

    - "Messa am Jedi Padawan."

    - "Youssa came for bussiness or pleasure?"

    - "Messa came for bussiness."

    - "Do youssa speak gungan?"

    - "What??? I thought we were speaking in gungan..."
     
  9. IG-PPO

    IG-PPO Sith Hamsters Handler

    One day Padme received a call from Jar Jar.

    - "Representative Binks, what can I for you?"

    - "OHH Senator Amidala, Messa need youssa help. Messa bought a puzzle and it issa Maxi difficult. Messa have trying to do the puzzle for over five hours!"

    - "What is the picture in the box?"

    - "The box has a picture of a Tiger."

    Curious about the puzzle, Padme went to Jar Jar's place. When she arrived she take a look to puzzle pieces that are all over the table and sighed:

    - "Jar Jar, please put the cereal back into the box and PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE!!!"
     
  10. AmShak

    AmShak Senior Moderator Staff Member

    i can't say that i'm a big fan of these, but i came across this one and thought you might like it ....





    Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker face each other, with light sabres drawn, in the classic battle of good against evil.

    Suddenly, in the middle of the fight Vader pulls Skywalker to him and whispers with his machine-aided voice.

    "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, LUKE," Vader rasped. "IT'S TRUE, LUKE, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!"

    Skywalker tried to ignore Vader but was overcome with emotion.

    The young Jedi wrenched himself free and yelled at Vader, "How can you know this?"

    "I FELT YOUR PRESENTS."
     
  11. chris solo

    chris solo Agent

    :twitch:
     
  12. Borsk

    Borsk Administrator Staff Member

  13. Buzz Bumble

    Buzz Bumble Furry Ewok

    Attached Files:

  14. Yoda Man

    Yoda Man New Recruit

    What did the poet say to the Star Wars fan?

    Metaphors be with you
     
  15. Buzz Bumble

    Buzz Bumble Furry Ewok

    These are "borrowed" from the Usenet Newsgroups ...
    :D
     
  16. Dark Jedi

    Dark Jedi Banned

    Luke: you killed my father!! :duel:

    Vader: no luke, I AM your father's mother's sister's brother's former roomate.....

    Luke: What relation does that make between us?

    Vader: absolutely nothing... :duel:
     
  17. Buzz Bumble

    Buzz Bumble Furry Ewok

    [​IMG]
     
    AmShak likes this.

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